First They Came

If you aren't already familiar with the English-language poetic variations/adaptations of Pastor Martin Niemöller's "famous statement and provocative poem about the cowardice of German intellectuals following the Nazi's rise to power and the subsequent purging of their chosen targets, group after group" (to quote Wikipedia), you can read it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came_.

Scary to anticipate a future version that goes something like this...

First they came for the Muslims, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Muslim.
Then they came for the Mexicans, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Mexican.
Then they came for the Homosexuals, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Homosexual.
Then they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Poor, and I did not speak out—because I was not Poor.
...
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Do I think there are people seeking power in the US who might try to round up Muslims one day? Yes I do. Rounding up Mexicans, Homosexuals, Socialists, and the Poor? Doesn't seem likely. But targeting them for hatred? Already happening.

Problem is, the "conversation" is currently taking place in the context of an upcoming US election. For that reason, it comes across as politically motivated to "speak out". I suppose that was true during the Nazi's rise to power as well.

Take the politics out of it though, and see it for what it is.

It's time to speak out.

(For those who expect a fun read from my blog, I'll get back to that now. My 7 year old is doing all sorts of cute things and I'm dying to tell you about them.)

David is Troubled

This is one of those times when I know I have something important on my mind, but I don't yet know how that's going to translate into a blog post. So I'll just start...

There's a lot of troubling stuff going on in the world right now and that's nothing new. It seems like there's never been a time in my life when there wasn't troubling stuff going on in the world.

But up here in Canada I think, on the whole, we see the troubling stuff and don't sweat it too much. We are basically good people who believe in the basic goodness of people and go about our lives with  faith that ultimately goodness will prevail.

My Dad (who, by the way, despite how I may lovingly characterize him from time to time is still the wisest person I know) once told me that on the whole you can pretty safely assume that every person you meet in school, at work, in your neighbourhood (and so on) is good. Those who are not good are such a small minority that while you should look out for them, it's not likely you'll encounter many in your life. And he was right; he is right: I can't think of many people (any?) I've met who weren't basically good.

So goodness prevails, right? Troubling stuff is a phenomenon of somewhere else. All the good people here will stay that way. Our society will ultimately always believe and act as if you should "love thy neighbour" and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Right?

Well, maybe. I hope so.

I think we're in danger of taking our eye off that ball. I think good people are becoming distracted. I think good people are becoming fragmented. I think good people are having a hard time finding truth. I think good people are becoming cynical. I think good people are becoming fearful and angry.

• Distracted - many good people who have the energy and will to fix the world are focusing on micro-causes with micro-communities of like-minded people instead of going after the macro issues (like poverty, social inclusion, justice, ...) Many good people are busy looking for jobs, pursuing careers, studying, raising families, and consuming an effectively infinite supply of entertainment. Many good people are focused on their own creature comforts - which abound here in Canada - instead of concerning themselves with those who don't have them.
• Fragmented - we aren't reading the same news, hearing the same opinions, consuming the same entertainment, joining the same conversations, or sharing the same experiences. We are cancelling cable and turning to our own customized stream of content. There's no critical mass around anything. There are lots and lots and lots of small communities of interest, but there is far less community than ever before. We are becoming strangers to each other outside of the tighter and tighter circles into which we are dividing ourselves.
• Unable to find truth - what is truth any more? Where do we turn to find out what really happened? Which side of any given debate is right when anyone can find a 'fact' to support their position? We don't trust science. We don't trust our leaders. Just for fun, we heckle (and thus suppress) people who genuinely try to speak the truth as they see it. It is far easier to find a truth that we like than to be open to one that we don't like.
• Cynical - it is more entertaining to watch bad people doing bad things than to watch good people doing good things. If you believe what you see in television programming, most people are bad and just a few are good. Even the good ones are complex and often have to do bad things for the greater good. "Reality" programming confirms that people are generally bad, weak, selfish, ... The "media" can be used by people with enough money to apply an easily remembered label (e.g. "she's a crook") to someone who doesn't fit what those people want and have that label be accepted, without question, by the masses who rely on that medium for their "news". So of course it's becoming increasingly difficult for good people to believe that a vast majority of others are also good and well-intentioned. It is much easier to assume the worst and to believe in no one but yourself.  
• Fearful and angry - of course good people are fearful. Bad and troubling stuff happens every day. And of course they're angry and frustrated. Good people should be angry and frustrated when they see bad things happening that they can't control. There are people in the world who understand that fear and anger are essential to furthering their cause and know very well how to put those tools to use. And they do. And it works.

So take a very large population of generally good people, distract them, divide them, confuse them, make them doubtful of each other, scare them, and piss them off; your chances of having them do something bad just got a whole lot better.

It is not enough to simply believe that goodness will prevail anymore. Good people need to make sure it does.

Good schools and teachers are more important than ever. Parents that teach 'goodness' to their kids - in word and in deed - are more important than ever. Communities that band together to do good things are more important than ever. Inclusion is more important than ever. Leaders who are good people are more important than ever.

There are forces beyond our individual control that are putting all of the above at risk. But what is completely within our control is to "love thy neighbour" and to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Start there. The rest follows.

A Letter to My Youngest Daughter: On Your Last Day as a Six-Year-Old

Dear M.,

As I sit down to jot you a birthday note, what strikes me like a sledgehammer is that it's been a year and a day since I wrote you a letter about things to remember when you're 6. A whole year has passed and tomorrow you'll be 7.

Since you're still little, you probably think it's been a long year. And for the same reason, you're probably just as excited to be 7 as you were to be 6. But you should know that for those of us around you, each of your birthdays are exciting but also a bit sad. (Who am I kidding? Very exciting and very sad.)

The exciting part is that it's like we're all watching the magic of life play out in you. We saw you as a tiny baby, then toddling, then off to school, then learning to read and to write...slowly transforming into an amazing little person who is re-writing our own understanding of how to be. I told you all about what I mean by that in last year's letter, but trust me - it's even more true a year later.

In JUST ONE YEAR, you've accomplished so much. For example:

• You stopped being afraid to try scary things. Maybe not all of them (and that's good, because sometimes being scared of doing something is a good sign that you shouldn't do it), but when we've told you to trust us - you've learned to trust us. I watched you in the course of a few ski lessons go from barely able to move your feet to standing at the top of a hill and skiing your way down it (the best part was when your instructor told us that you screamed all the way down the first time). You tried (and loved) minestrone. You learned to jump into a pool and then dive (sort of). You learned to jump right in at a new school and make brand new friends.
• On the subject of school, you learned about homework. It's weird that they call it "work" when it's actually so much fun, but sometimes things are just named funny (like "sign language" instead of "sigh language" which is what you thought it was called). I loved seeing you rush in the door each day, pull your journal from the bag, check what your homework was (despite having been the person who wrote down what your homework was just a few hours before), and then put your head down and do it. And usually more than you had to. If you keep that up - approaching "work" with the same intensity that you approach "play" (and vice versa) - you will go far.
• You managed to make a whole bunch of new friends while continuing to hold onto your old friends. We needed 3 birthday parties this year to hold them all - one with girls from the old school, one with girls from the new school, and one with your treasured boy friends. I love that you decided to separate them this year for the first time because that way you could give each person an experience that was suited to them and you could give each person much more of your attention. Very smart.
• Then there was soccer, skating, math, french, antonyms, homonyms, synonyms, basketball, reading books that have no pictures, telling time, watching movies and shows that aren't just cartoons, losing a few more teeth, buckling yourself into the car, and so on and so on and so on.

The sad part is that each time you have a birthday, it means you're a year deeper into childhood and a year closer to not being so little anymore. Why wouldn't we want you to be little anymore? Because you are such a joy to be around all of the time and because we're afraid that a time will come when you'd rather be around other people instead of us. (Sorry, I had to stop just now to gather myself).

Remember, Mommy and I have been through this before. We watched your two older sisters grow from little, little kids into full-fledged adults. We spent just as much time with them as we do with you, and now we get to spend less time with them than we used to. BUT, they also showed us that even as they made friends and had sleepovers and went on sleepaway trips and then went away for school, that didn't have to mean drifting apart. I feel like they're nearby all the time, that I can pick up the phone and hear their voice whenever I want, and that they're thinking of me constantly (evidence: dub-smashes, texts, e-mails, snapchats, facebook 'likes' and messages, whenever-they-can visits, etc.) Some of that is because it pains them so much to be apart from you, but some of it is also because it pains them to be apart from us (I hope).

Your world gets much, much bigger as you get bigger, but at its centre will always be your family and your dearest friends. The sun isn't something you have to go out and find, it's where you started and it's what will always pull at you and keep you from flying too far out from who you are.

So that's why we're happy and sad as you turn 7. We'll keep the sad at bay so you don't feel it, but later on when you read this I hope it will make you feel even more love and loved than you do already.

Happy birthday my sweetest little girl. Enjoy 7.

A Perfect Weekend Retreat for Couples in Their 50's

I have many great ideas. All the time. This one, I will happily give away for free...

Two realities that face couples in their 50's:

1. You are now both due to get colonoscopies 
2. You don't have enough time to watch all the tv that's out there.

I doubt I need to write the rest of the idea since it's self-evident from the above, but in case you are a little slow (being in your 50's and all, or older) I will spell it out for you.

Imagine a spa that offers The Romantic Couples' Colonoscopy and Catch-up Weekend.

You arrive Friday night and check into a beautiful room. It features two of the most comfortable chairs you've ever seen, a wonderfully inviting love seat with plenty of space for both of you to cuddle, a lavishly appointed king-sized bed, and two very large-screen televisions positioned just right for viewing from any corner of the room.

Making your way into the bathroom, you see not one, but two toilets - each discreetly separated from the other by decorative curtains, and each facing two more large-screen televisions.

Before your arrival, the spa's techies have loaded up the contents from your home PVR, and you've also got access to Netflix and all of the best streaming services, and - of course - satellite television offering selections from around the planet.

As you take in the marvels of the room, a member of the spa staff arrives at your door, takes your orders for a final solid meal, helps you settle in to your seat of choice and hands you a personal remote with all of the buttons clearly (and largely) labeled.

He's back in an hour with your meal on elaborate tv trays that allow you to continue watching whatever you started without shifting position or removing your eyes from the screen.

The next morning (Saturday), before 9, a beautiful breakfast arrives at your door. You awaken - or maybe you just pause what you've been watching for the last 12 hours - and dine. Yum.

Throughout the day you are treated to a variety of fluids (4 litres, at least) all while enjoying the comforts of your room and the shows on the screens. If you need a break, try a massage, or hot stones, or a facial...

At 4:30 pm another spa staffer arrives with some tablets and some stuff to pour into water. You happily and dreamily take it, maybe even clinking your glasses: "To us!"

When the time comes - multiple times come - you simply make your way back and forth between room and bathroom. No interruption necessary in your viewing, the screens in the bathroom are carrying the same programming as the main room.

Eventually, it's Sunday morning and you treat yourself to some more tablets and stuff. Three hours later, another staffer (Ramon) comes to wheel you both down to a special room.

You're both gently knocked out. The deed is performed.

While you're out, any other services that you had pre-selected are performed: a scrub, some waxing, and so on.

You both wake up a little later in your room, none the worse for wear. Refreshed, cleansed, pampered, tvs back on and ready for you to press Play.

"Ahhhhhhhhh," you think to yourself, "why have I been worrying about this my whole life?"

You gaze lovingly into your spouse's eyes and see the same contentedness that you feel.

We'll have to do this again...

At check-out, you jokingly tell the person at the desk that they can take the bill and shove it - he's never heard that before and laughs appreciatively. And away you go.

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Like I said - my idea, and I'd be very happy to have it stolen and implemented. All I ask is a deep discount and that appreciative laughter at the checkout desk.