The Grump in the Park

The Grump in the park sat and looked all around.
He looked at the sky and he looked at the ground.
He looked to the left and he looked to the right.
Yes, he sat in that park from the morning 'til night.

And - oh - what he saw gave him scratches and itches,
And a deepening sadness (despite his vast riches).
For all the Grumps just like him were no longer about,
In their place scurried others (and this was bad, without doubt).

All the Grumps he had known were nowhere to be seen,
But the others, instead, filled the park where they'd been.
They were blue, red, and yellow; they sang and they danced.
There were oodles of them, everywhere that he glanced.

Said the Grump, "This is wrong! This is terribly wrong!
Who let them all in? This ridiculous throng?
I will stand for the Grumps and make everything right!
I will stand for them now, all the time, day and night!"

And there on the bench, where he once had just sat,
The Grump climbed right up and he took off his hat,
And he called to the Grumps who were hidden from view,
And he asked them to join in what he knew they must do.

"We'll get rid of the others! With me leading you all!
We'll toss them right out! And then we'll build a wall!
And they'll never come back to this park that is ours!
All I ask is your faith so you'll grant me these powers!"

And the Grumps came when they heard, they came back to the park,
Some came right away, and some waited 'til dark.
When at last they were there, all the Grumps he could find,
Their love and support for him blew his small mind.

So the King of the Grumps (as he now wished to be known),
Sat down on the bench (which he now called his 'throne'),
And drew up a plan that told the Grumps what to do:
"First we round up the Others, red, yellow and blue.."

"...then we take them away, outside of this place,
Using force if we must (and I hope that's the case)."
So the Grumps joined together and did what he said,
And got rid of the Others, blue, yellow and red.

'Til the park was all clear, each Other now gone.
Only Grumps filled the sidewalks and the green grassy lawn.
And they whooped and they yelled with an unbridled joy.
For they had the park back, every Grump, girl and boy.

And it was great for them all...for one day, maybe two.
'Til they got a bit bored without much left to do.
"I must get them invested in new, stronger opinions,"
Thought the King, "lest they leave me alone, with no minions".

So the next thing he said was directed at 'us',
"Some of us here are starting to stir up a fuss!
It's the ones with pink hair that are causing the trouble,
Let's send them away next, right now, on the double!"

So out went the Grumps whose hair was too pink,
They were carried away (despite making a stink).
Then the ones with no pants were directed to leave.
Then the ones that liked dogs and those with beige on their sleeve.

And the Grumps with the mumps and the measles and flu,
And the Grumps who smelled too much like antelope stew,
Away they were dragged, one group after another.
'Til the only two left were the King and his brother.

"Well that's that, I guess," said the triumphant King,
"It's just you and me now, we've got the whole thing!"
"Yeah, but why must I still share this park with you, Bro?"
Asked the King's younger sib, before making him go.

So now stands the Grump just outside of the wall.
Humbly asking himself "What has led to my fall?"
And the answer comes clear to his sad, tortured mind.
"I'm alone now because I am one of a kind."

"And someone so special, who is truly unique,
Needs no-one around when he chooses to speak.
For I'm with the right group now, alone, as I choose."
And away from the park walked the Grump and his views.

A Letter to My Youngest Daughter: Cherish 8 Year-old You

I made a big mistake right now and looked at the letters I wrote just before you turned 7 and 6. That's two whole years ago now and I can't believe how quickly you're growing up. As I told you a few days ago and on the occasion of your previous birthdays, these milestone events make me both happy and sad. But I won't dwell on that this time.

Instead, let me tell you about something else that really matters given where you are right now and where you may find yourself in the future.

Grown-ups talk a lot about their "inner-child", and finding their inner-child when they're older and get lost in the day-to-day mess of being an adult.

You see, for most people life isn't always fun or easy. I hope it always is for you, but there may be times when it's just not what you want it to be. That's okay, the down times make the up times even better.

Sometimes work is really, really hard, and you still have to do it day after day after day. Sometimes money is short and you can't buy what you want or need. Sometimes bad stuff happens and it feels like that squashes everything else that's good in your life. Sometimes people are mean or insensitive or selfish and they make themselves feel better by bringing you down. And sometimes you're sad for no good reason at all, or angry, or confused. Things just get that way sometimes.

It's very easy to let that stuff eat you up and to forget who you are, who you were, and who you want to be. This sends people looking for their "inner-child", who they used to be before they got lost in being grown-up, so they can re-anchor themselves in that tiny happy person inside: The kid who used to see every day as a big shiny promise; who used to find fun in everything; and who didn't have to worry about anything in the world.

You are, right now, the child that you may later be searching for inside the grown up you become. This tiny perfect person you are right now will always be there inside you. Your voice, right now, will always be a voice in your head, and you will sometimes want to stop and listen to it. Your wide-eyed innocent opinion of the world will always be sitting there waiting to weigh in on things. Your beaming optimism will always be sitting there intact where you can find it if you have to. Your inner-child is sitting there on the surface for everyone to see right now, today, but tomorrow you'll probably have to dig a little deeper to find her.

I need to work at it sometimes to find mine, but it's definitely there. I know that because there are often times where I need to work to hide it (like when I get the urge to stick my leg out when somebody comes running past me; like when I have to suppress an irresponsible giggle at the worst possible moment in a business meeting; like when I find the sound of a fart in a quiet room the funniest thing in the world). Right now, today, you are still a child in all the gloriously amazing ways that we all were once. Think of what a privilege it is to have a few more years of getting to be what everyone else wishes they were.

Love it. Embrace it. Don't be in a rush to push that child down and inside so that you can be a teen or a grown-up. Being a kid means you don't have to be embarrassed when you do stupid things, or when you don't know something, or when somebody sees you dancing around in a room alone, or when somebody hears you singing when there's no music, or when you play made-up games with no rules, or when you play with dolls, or when you get caught watching a show you used to watch when you were a baby, or when you draw crazy pictures that make no sense, or when you spit out food you just tried because it tastes disgusting, or when you change your clothes because all of a sudden you want to be all dressed in purple, or when you do a million other things that later you have to pretend you're not interested in doing.

Pay attention to all the things you see, taste, smell, feel, think, believe, want, know, think you know, and wish you knew. Freeze an image of yourself and remember it. Because before you know it you'll be looking for it. Hold onto it. Stay in touch with it regularly. Keep it near the surface.

I think I'm the least grown-up grown-up you'll ever meet. I'm happy. I'm successful. I'm often a goof (like the time I recently walked up to a Barista at Starbucks and asked what I could get her, or the time I licked out a bowl of ice cream at the restaurant, or the time I hurt my arm skiing because I couldn't ski and should have known better, or the time you and I made up inappropriate songs in the car - which is most of the time we're in the car, by the way). I haven't fully let go of the child inside because I don't believe you really ever have to or should.

Your older sisters, for all of their bluster and drama and grown-up angst, keep their inner-children pretty close to the surface too. And when they're around you, you get to see it plain as day. Be that way too. Don't take yourself too seriously - certainly not now and even more importantly, not later.

Other kids (and grownups) love to be around you because you are a good, kind, fascinating, creative, fun, industrious, innocent, amazing KID. Your facial expressions, your choice of words, your wry smile, your sparkling wit, your petulant whiny voice, and your miffed and angry face are so real and so engaging (and cute) that we can't get enough of you. You should never get enough of being that way.

If you ever find yourself feeling lost, depressed, unsure, lonely, scared, ... remember this very best version of yourself ... and drop everything, put on some loud music and dance, or taste something new and spit it out in disgust, or watch some tv for babies, or make fart jokes or noises, or pull out some old dolls and make up a story about them, or colour something way outside the lines, or do any of the million things you do naturally every day because you're 8... and you'll find your footing again. Guaranteed.

I hope you don't ever have to look too far.

I love you and I can't wait to see the kid you are a year from now and a decade from now. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever hide the 8-year-old away where you (and I) can't find her.

The Valentine's Day Message

Mom was making her write Valentine's Day cards for everyone in the class. EVERYONE. It wasn't fair.

Her Mom's explanation was: "Ms. Farley said that her policy is that everyone gets a card or you don't bring any cards at all. It's so that no one feels left out and sad."

"Then I'd rather bring no cards at all." she had said, but to no avail.

Here she was, instead, writing stupid cards for everyone.

You had to be soooo careful because you couldn't just give the stupid little pictures and messages in the cards to just anyone (and Mom always bought cards with stupid little pictures and messages). If it said "love" or hinted at it, you had to make sure that went to a girl. If it had cute little animals, same thing. Boys had to get superheroes or trains or cars AND you had to make sure there wasn't a message that suggested you liked the boy. No hearts for boys either.

Then, you had to be careful about what you wrote. Safest thing for girls was "Your friend, ..." or just "Happy Valentine's Day!" Boys got "From..."

Then there was Eddie. What a jerk. What a bully. "He gets a card too!?! Mom! I can't do it."

But her Mom shuffled through the pile of cards and pulled one out that just said "Happy Valentine's Day" on the front and nothing inside. NOTHING. How perfect because Eddie was a nothing.

He stole people's lunches. He punched you when no one was looking. He made faces at Ms. Farley when she had her back to the class. He made fake fart noises (which was actually pretty funny, but RUDE!) And here she was being forced to write a card for that worthless loser.

She opened the blank card and wrote her name and nothing else. Not even a 'from'. "That'll show him", she thought with a malicious smile.

----

Valentine's Day in Ms. Farley's class was pretty good. They had a party instead of math. And at the end of the party, they each got a little box to put on their desk, and then walked around dropping their cards in each other's boxes.

When she got to Eddie's desk, she quickly checked if Ms. Farley was looking and when she was sure she wasn't, she plugged her nose with one hand and dropped her card in his box with the other.

They all sat down after that and had a few minutes to open their cards.

She picked the first one at random and opened it. The print said "Happy Valentine's Day" on the front, and nothing inside, except "Eddie". WHAT A JERK!

Then she opened another. It was the same card, and inside it said "Kenneth".

Then the same again, from "Emily". And "Lisa". And "Thomas"...

Tears welled up in her eyes as she opened each envelope and found the same card over and over again from every kid in class. They hadn't even had the decency to write anything but their names inside! Not even a 'from'.

She stood up and asked Ms. Farley if she could go to the office because she wasn't feeling well.

Her Mom picked her up 20 minutes later, and she cried all the way home.

---

The next day, when she came into class, she made a point of going straight to her seat without teasing anyone. At recess, she didn't get in any fights and instead tried playing tag with some of the other girls. In fact, she went all day without once getting in trouble.

Valentine's Day message received.

(Love David. Happy Valentine's Day.)

Reflections on the seemingly inevitable demise of my morning paper

In 1999, Russell Ackoff wrote:

An ounce of information is worth a pound of data. An ounce of knowledge is worth a pound of information. An ounce of understanding is worth a pound of knowledge.

Despite this, most of the time spent in school is devoted to the transmission of information and ways of obtaining it. Less time is devoted to the transmission of knowledge and ways of obtaining it (analytical thinking). Virtually no time is spent in transmitting understanding or ways of obtaining it (synthetic thinking). 

The DIKW model (which isn't Ackoff's), is often depicted as a pyramid, and doesn't include an 'understanding' tier.

Because I personally like Ackoff's addition of "understanding" in the hierarchy, that's the version I'll refer to here.

My thoughts below aren't in the context of education; instead, I'm reflecting on my morning paper and my concern for its demise.


-------

I still get a newspaper delivered to my home every morning. I diligently read it every day and take the information it contains more-or-less at face value. I can generally tell the difference between what is information and what is opinion, and I tend to trust the information because I trust traditional journalism, its foundational ethics and processes, the professionals who have been educated and vetted before landing at a major paper, the editors who carefully guard against breaches of the rules, and so on.

I believe, perhaps naively, that because all of those people have done their job responsibly, I don't need to familiarize myself with all of the data from which their information was drawn. In the same way, I trust the information my doctor gives me without personally digging into the data, and I trust information about home renovations when it comes from a professional who knows much more than I do about the underlying data and who has personal experience applying the data and the information.

In those other professions, though, I further rely on the professionals' personal knowledge; their processing of the information they've studied and gathered directly from experience. I'll continue to do so, and to build even deeper faith in the individual's knowledge until and unless I see first-hand that their data->information->knowledge conversion is not trustworthy.

From professional journalists, I don't ask for knowledge and they don't claim the right to give it to me. Just information. And opinion that has been clearly identified as such. My newspaper is one source for me in the search for knowledge and understanding about what's going on in the world. It contains (I believe) data and information carefully vetted and explained, and that's all. I trust that, and a few other sources.

So I'm worried - very worried - when I think about the (near) future of traditional journalism. It can't and won't survive the disruption of its business model, resulting from technological change, democratization of publishing, changes in consumer preferences, etc. I can only hope that whatever fills the void will also be built on a foundation of professional ethics that puts the truth first.

The more dangerous development, though, (in my opinion of course) is that so many people are implicitly and blindly short-cutting the data-information-knowledge-understanding-wisdom hierarchy because it's so much easier to do so than to be diligent about each of its layers. I'm comfortable getting my data and information from experts I trust, but I'm careful about who those experts are and I will stop trusting them when they show me that my trust is misplaced. I have a much higher standard for knowledge. And wisdom - to me - comes from my parents (and a lifetime of trust in them), from my religion (and the thousands of years of thought and observation upon which it is built) and from my own personal experiences and insights.

I am alarmed and saddened whenever I see people react to a Facebook post as if they are reading the words of a trusted journalist, when blog posts are shared as if they are thesis papers written after months of careful research, and when people posing as reporters share their opinions as fact and others embrace and share their views as if they are.

It is convenient to believe someone else's information or knowledge when it aligns with your own opinion, and it's also dangerous. Where's the data? Was it responsibly and diligently gathered, analyzed and processed into information? Is the information reliable? Is it based on reasonable conclusions without bias? Who is the source of the knowledge and how did they gain that knowledge?

Without rigour around data, information and knowledge, we won't find shared understanding, and wisdom will be a pipe dream. Because of all of that, it feels like we're headed for calamity.

My newspaper matters to me and I'll keep paying for it until I no longer can. You should consider doing the same (in my opinion).

Final note: Every word that I've written above is directed at people who largely share my worldview, not those who I feel are intentionally spreading "alternative facts". It's on you and me to defend the truth, not our preferred version of it.

Advice for Someone Starting a New Job

There's lots of good advice on the web for someone starting a new job. In today's post, I thought I'd provide some of this useful information to those of you who are in that situation. Because there's so much of it, I just pulled the material below from the first site I found Googling "advice for someone starting a new job". Feel free to do the search yourself and tap into other sites' wisdom as well. 

From https://www.livecareer.com/quintessential/first-days-working (by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D., and Katharine Hansen, Ph.D.):

You know the importance of a first impression. As a jobseeker, a first impression was very valuable; now that you’ve accepted a job offer, first impressions are again of critical importance. 

First impressions about people often turn into long-term perceptions and opinions. This works well for people who make positive first impressions but can be a negative for people who make negative first impressions. 

“I think the early days are when your boss and colleagues form the most lasting impressions about you,” said Ann Marie Russell, a program coordinator with AmeriCorps. “This is when they make assessments about your ‘typical’ behavior, and what ‘type’ of person you are.”

(The authors then go on to list 21 tips. I've selected a handful only, to give you a sense of the sage wisdom included in the list.) 

1. Have a Positive Attitude 

Nothing works better to improve people’s first impression of you more than having a positive attitude. Let your enthusiasm for being part of the team and the organization show through to everyone you interact with. Leave your personal problems at home and concentrate on radiating your excitement for this new opportunity. 

5. Ask Questions/Ask for Help  

No one expects you to know everything when you first start a new job so feel free to ask questions or ask for help when you need it. Remember that it’s better to ask for clarification before you’ve spent time completing a task the wrong way. It can be easy to let pride get in the way when you first start a job but pretending you know things you don’t isn’t the wise path. Listen to your coworker, ask questions and communicate openly with your supervisors about any concerns that arise. No one expects you to know it all in the first weeks and months of a new job. 

8. Learn Everything You Can About Your New Employer 

In theory, you should have already done your homework during the interviewing process, but there is always a lot more to learn once you’re on the inside. Get an employee handbook and study it. In addition, gather all those reports and company literature and read as much as you can to become an expert on your organization. 

11. Avoid Office Politics and Gossip 

The workplace can be full of rumors and gossip. Your mission should be to stay above the fray. Take care not to associate the office gossips and don’t get involved in any office trash talk or politics, especially in the beginning. Repeating gossip will do nothing to help you make a good first impression at a new job. 

12. Keep Personal Business on Company Time to a Minimum 

Studies show that just about everyone conducts some amount of personal business on company time — checking email, making dinner reservations, buying stuff online. Your goal is to keep your personal business to a minimum and stay focused on work.  

14. Listen More than Talk 

Listening more than you talk can be one of the hardest skills to learn, especially for extroverts. However, you don’t want to get the reputation as the office know-it-all — or worse, someone who always has to have the limelight. If you have a legitimate contribution, make it, but if not, do more listening and absorbing during those first days on the job. 

17. Find a Mentor 

You don’t need to jump on this task your first day, but as you get introduced to senior staff, begin thinking about developing a mentoring relationship with a senior person in the organization. Mentoring has numerous benefits, from a simple sounding board to someone who helps direct and advance your career within the organization.

(and...) Final Thoughts on Your First Days on the Job 

Being the newest member of the organization — the rookie — is both challenging and exciting. You’ll be faced with both difficulties and opportunities, and your goal should be to make the most of all situations. Don’t worry if you don’t make a perfect first impression in those early days on the job — few of us ever do. Remember to relax, keep your mind open, get to know your team members, and do your work. These things should help you go far in making a positive and lasting impression at your new job. 

Epic Travel Day

It was my birthday yesterday. As a special gift, my company sent me on an all-expense-paid trip to Memphis, Tennessee (for business meetings today). And so began the adventure...

Was flying Toronto-Memphis with a connection in Chicago (90-minute connection, no problem). Started seeing delays in my flight starting at around 11am. First, 30 minutes, then 60, then an hour-15, then 2 hours-15, then 4 hours. After a while, decided to go to the airport and take my chances. Joined my colleague in the lounge who was also on the same trip, when suddenly the flight departure time moved up by 3 hours-15...giving us 5 minutes to dash from the lounge to the furthest point in the airport.

Dashed.

Boarded in Toronto with only a 40-minute delay, then waited another 40 minutes for other passengers who didn't know the flight had moved up by 3+ hours.

Eventually took off with a chance that we'd make Chicago in time for our Memphis connection. After all, flights rarely leave Chicago on time.

Landed in Chicago with 10 minutes to get from Terminal 1 to Terminal 2 before take-off. BUT, the Chicago-Memphis flight showed a 20 minute delay, so maybe, just maybe, they were waiting for us.

Dashed. Sprinted. The shuttle between Terminals arrived promptly. Dashed again. AND MADE IT, just in time to see them close the plane doors. It was a holiday miracle! A flight left on time! Agent at the gate said she held it as long as she could, but the flight was now irrevocably on its way. Next step was to go to customer service for a new flight and a hotel voucher (next flights to Memphis were in the morning - 7:30 am and noonish.)

100's of people waiting for same at customer service...line-up with no end in sight.

Fortunately, we had decided to buy my co-traveller a ticket on the 7:30 am flight just in case, so that at least one of us could get there in the morning. That paid off and he was set. For me, neither flight had seats remaining. I got on standby for the noonish flight.

That's when I noticed a Little Rock flight that I could take earlier, rent a car in Little Rock, drive a couple of hours to Memphis, and arrive earlier than the noonish Memphis flight was scheduled to arrive. Spoke to our agent and had her arrange that, car and everything.

Had drinks and a late dinner at the airport hotel we booked for ourselves (rather than waiting 2+ hours in line for the airline to do it) and set the alarm for my 8:58 am flight to Little Rock this morning.

Off went my colleague on the 7:30 am flight to Memphis. A little later, I headed over to the Little Rock gate. But wait! Little Rock was delayed by 30 minutes, then 60, then 3.5 hours.

Heard from my colleague (now in Memphis) that there were 4 empty seats on his flight (any one of which would have sufficed for my purposes, thank you very much).

Took that as a cue that maybe the noonish flight to Memphis now also had seats. Called my Agent. She switched me to that flight (another Terminal, same shuttle as last night). And now I sit and await my Memphis flight, boarding pass in hand.

My Memphis flight just got delayed 45 minutes. And in fact, I just checked again - literally this moment - it's been delayed again by another 2 hours.

I wish I was kidding.

Good news is that I fly back to Toronto tomorrow morning. That should go smoothly I'm sure.

Lessons learned:

• With all the apps available to let you know departure times, you still need to assume your flight is departing at its original time...because it might.
• Travel agents still have lots of value to add. Even if it's just the off-load of waiting on the phone for airlines to pick up.
• No sense in getting frustrated or angry. The airlines don't (can't?) care because whatever is happening to you, something worse is happening to a whole bunch of someone elses... including those in the line in front of me last night who don't have agents, can't afford to buy extra tickets and/or are going through these situations with little children and/or infants.

Wish me luck...

How Will 2016 Be Remembered?

Wow. That was quite a year.

I've heard a lot of people talking about how horrible 2016 was - the rise (return) of all sorts of terrible behaviours and beliefs around the world and too close to home, the painful US Election, the set-backs on important social gains for vulnerable groups, uncountable human tragedies resulting from natural and/or man-made disasters and wars and terrorism, the deaths of beloved figures from just about every Trivial Pursuit category, ...

Sad. Depressing. And nearly over.

I'm not sure that 2016 really stands out in these respects compared to other years, but it is recent and therefore most-easily remembered. Certainly, we haven't lost so many icons in any year that I remember.

However...maybe we made a few gains? Maybe we learned a few things from 2016 and get better as a result?

Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that the under-30's genuinely woke up to the fact that they need to step up and rescue the world from their parents. The grown-ups really dropped the ball this year on all sorts of fronts and it feels like the under-30's watched in horror but didn't realize they could have made an enormous difference. Maybe they know that now and stop assuming we know what we're doing?

Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that we all woke up to what we've been hearing for decades - that if we don't remember the past we are doomed to repeat it. At the same time that we're losing the last few people on the planet with first-hand experience of the horrors of WWI and WWII, maybe we're getting the kick in the pants we need to finally believe them and do something about it?

Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that we became mobilized around the death of the truth, the importance of honest journalism, and the degree to which we have become vulnerable to lies.

Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year when the voice of the people being left behind with respect to employment, health, education, and "the American Dream" overall, was finally heard.

Maybe 2016 will be remembered as a breakthrough year for mental health, when we finally started to talk about it openly, when it became as real for us as physical health. When gender issues finally started mattering to everyone. When the rest of us realized that women still aren't safe. When we finally started dealing with simmering (but carefully hidden and anonymous) xenophobic hate.

Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that we finally began to deal with bullying and started to address the harm that people do to each other and society when the Internet gives absolute freedom to absolutely everybody to do absolutely anything they want.

Or maybe 2017 will be even worse?

I can't shake the feeling that that depends a lot on the under-30's. Not shirking. But I think I'll remember 2016 as the year when I personally realized how much better our kids can be at fixing the world than we have proven to be. They care. They are connected. They have reach. They are frighteningly smart.  And maybe now, they've been activated by all they witnessed in 2016.

I hope so.