Mom was making her write Valentine's Day cards for everyone in the class. EVERYONE. It wasn't fair.
Her Mom's explanation was: "Ms. Farley said that her policy is that everyone gets a card or you don't bring any cards at all. It's so that no one feels left out and sad."
"Then I'd rather bring no cards at all." she had said, but to no avail.
Here she was, instead, writing stupid cards for everyone.
You had to be soooo careful because you couldn't just give the stupid little pictures and messages in the cards to just anyone (and Mom always bought cards with stupid little pictures and messages). If it said "love" or hinted at it, you had to make sure that went to a girl. If it had cute little animals, same thing. Boys had to get superheroes or trains or cars AND you had to make sure there wasn't a message that suggested you liked the boy. No hearts for boys either.
Then, you had to be careful about what you wrote. Safest thing for girls was "Your friend, ..." or just "Happy Valentine's Day!" Boys got "From..."
Then there was Eddie. What a jerk. What a bully. "He gets a card too!?! Mom! I can't do it."
But her Mom shuffled through the pile of cards and pulled one out that just said "Happy Valentine's Day" on the front and nothing inside. NOTHING. How perfect because Eddie was a nothing.
He stole people's lunches. He punched you when no one was looking. He made faces at Ms. Farley when she had her back to the class. He made fake fart noises (which was actually pretty funny, but RUDE!) And here she was being forced to write a card for that worthless loser.
She opened the blank card and wrote her name and nothing else. Not even a 'from'. "That'll show him", she thought with a malicious smile.
----
Valentine's Day in Ms. Farley's class was pretty good. They had a party instead of math. And at the end of the party, they each got a little box to put on their desk, and then walked around dropping their cards in each other's boxes.
When she got to Eddie's desk, she quickly checked if Ms. Farley was looking and when she was sure she wasn't, she plugged her nose with one hand and dropped her card in his box with the other.
They all sat down after that and had a few minutes to open their cards.
She picked the first one at random and opened it. The print said "Happy Valentine's Day" on the front, and nothing inside, except "Eddie". WHAT A JERK!
Then she opened another. It was the same card, and inside it said "Kenneth".
Then the same again, from "Emily". And "Lisa". And "Thomas"...
Tears welled up in her eyes as she opened each envelope and found the same card over and over again from every kid in class. They hadn't even had the decency to write anything but their names inside! Not even a 'from'.
She stood up and asked Ms. Farley if she could go to the office because she wasn't feeling well.
Her Mom picked her up 20 minutes later, and she cried all the way home.
---
The next day, when she came into class, she made a point of going straight to her seat without teasing anyone. At recess, she didn't get in any fights and instead tried playing tag with some of the other girls. In fact, she went all day without once getting in trouble.
Valentine's Day message received.
(Love David. Happy Valentine's Day.)
Monday, February 13, 2017
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Reflections on the seemingly inevitable demise of my morning paper
In 1999, Russell Ackoff wrote:
The DIKW model (which isn't Ackoff's), is often depicted as a pyramid, and doesn't include an 'understanding' tier.
Because I personally like Ackoff's addition of "understanding" in the hierarchy, that's the version I'll refer to here.
My thoughts below aren't in the context of education; instead, I'm reflecting on my morning paper and my concern for its demise.
-------
I still get a newspaper delivered to my home every morning. I diligently read it every day and take the information it contains more-or-less at face value. I can generally tell the difference between what is information and what is opinion, and I tend to trust the information because I trust traditional journalism, its foundational ethics and processes, the professionals who have been educated and vetted before landing at a major paper, the editors who carefully guard against breaches of the rules, and so on.
I believe, perhaps naively, that because all of those people have done their job responsibly, I don't need to familiarize myself with all of the data from which their information was drawn. In the same way, I trust the information my doctor gives me without personally digging into the data, and I trust information about home renovations when it comes from a professional who knows much more than I do about the underlying data and who has personal experience applying the data and the information.
In those other professions, though, I further rely on the professionals' personal knowledge; their processing of the information they've studied and gathered directly from experience. I'll continue to do so, and to build even deeper faith in the individual's knowledge until and unless I see first-hand that their data->information->knowledge conversion is not trustworthy.
From professional journalists, I don't ask for knowledge and they don't claim the right to give it to me. Just information. And opinion that has been clearly identified as such. My newspaper is one source for me in the search for knowledge and understanding about what's going on in the world. It contains (I believe) data and information carefully vetted and explained, and that's all. I trust that, and a few other sources.
So I'm worried - very worried - when I think about the (near) future of traditional journalism. It can't and won't survive the disruption of its business model, resulting from technological change, democratization of publishing, changes in consumer preferences, etc. I can only hope that whatever fills the void will also be built on a foundation of professional ethics that puts the truth first.
The more dangerous development, though, (in my opinion of course) is that so many people are implicitly and blindly short-cutting the data-information-knowledge-understanding-wisdom hierarchy because it's so much easier to do so than to be diligent about each of its layers. I'm comfortable getting my data and information from experts I trust, but I'm careful about who those experts are and I will stop trusting them when they show me that my trust is misplaced. I have a much higher standard for knowledge. And wisdom - to me - comes from my parents (and a lifetime of trust in them), from my religion (and the thousands of years of thought and observation upon which it is built) and from my own personal experiences and insights.
I am alarmed and saddened whenever I see people react to a Facebook post as if they are reading the words of a trusted journalist, when blog posts are shared as if they are thesis papers written after months of careful research, and when people posing as reporters share their opinions as fact and others embrace and share their views as if they are.
It is convenient to believe someone else's information or knowledge when it aligns with your own opinion, and it's also dangerous. Where's the data? Was it responsibly and diligently gathered, analyzed and processed into information? Is the information reliable? Is it based on reasonable conclusions without bias? Who is the source of the knowledge and how did they gain that knowledge?
Without rigour around data, information and knowledge, we won't find shared understanding, and wisdom will be a pipe dream. Because of all of that, it feels like we're headed for calamity.
My newspaper matters to me and I'll keep paying for it until I no longer can. You should consider doing the same (in my opinion).
Final note: Every word that I've written above is directed at people who largely share my worldview, not those who I feel are intentionally spreading "alternative facts". It's on you and me to defend the truth, not our preferred version of it.
An ounce of information is worth a pound of data. An ounce of knowledge is worth a pound of information. An ounce of understanding is worth a pound of knowledge.
Despite this, most of the time spent in school is devoted to the transmission of information and ways of obtaining it. Less time is devoted to the transmission of knowledge and ways of obtaining it (analytical thinking). Virtually no time is spent in transmitting understanding or ways of obtaining it (synthetic thinking).
The DIKW model (which isn't Ackoff's), is often depicted as a pyramid, and doesn't include an 'understanding' tier.Because I personally like Ackoff's addition of "understanding" in the hierarchy, that's the version I'll refer to here.
My thoughts below aren't in the context of education; instead, I'm reflecting on my morning paper and my concern for its demise.
-------
I still get a newspaper delivered to my home every morning. I diligently read it every day and take the information it contains more-or-less at face value. I can generally tell the difference between what is information and what is opinion, and I tend to trust the information because I trust traditional journalism, its foundational ethics and processes, the professionals who have been educated and vetted before landing at a major paper, the editors who carefully guard against breaches of the rules, and so on.
I believe, perhaps naively, that because all of those people have done their job responsibly, I don't need to familiarize myself with all of the data from which their information was drawn. In the same way, I trust the information my doctor gives me without personally digging into the data, and I trust information about home renovations when it comes from a professional who knows much more than I do about the underlying data and who has personal experience applying the data and the information.
In those other professions, though, I further rely on the professionals' personal knowledge; their processing of the information they've studied and gathered directly from experience. I'll continue to do so, and to build even deeper faith in the individual's knowledge until and unless I see first-hand that their data->information->knowledge conversion is not trustworthy.
From professional journalists, I don't ask for knowledge and they don't claim the right to give it to me. Just information. And opinion that has been clearly identified as such. My newspaper is one source for me in the search for knowledge and understanding about what's going on in the world. It contains (I believe) data and information carefully vetted and explained, and that's all. I trust that, and a few other sources.
So I'm worried - very worried - when I think about the (near) future of traditional journalism. It can't and won't survive the disruption of its business model, resulting from technological change, democratization of publishing, changes in consumer preferences, etc. I can only hope that whatever fills the void will also be built on a foundation of professional ethics that puts the truth first.
The more dangerous development, though, (in my opinion of course) is that so many people are implicitly and blindly short-cutting the data-information-knowledge-understanding-wisdom hierarchy because it's so much easier to do so than to be diligent about each of its layers. I'm comfortable getting my data and information from experts I trust, but I'm careful about who those experts are and I will stop trusting them when they show me that my trust is misplaced. I have a much higher standard for knowledge. And wisdom - to me - comes from my parents (and a lifetime of trust in them), from my religion (and the thousands of years of thought and observation upon which it is built) and from my own personal experiences and insights.
I am alarmed and saddened whenever I see people react to a Facebook post as if they are reading the words of a trusted journalist, when blog posts are shared as if they are thesis papers written after months of careful research, and when people posing as reporters share their opinions as fact and others embrace and share their views as if they are.
It is convenient to believe someone else's information or knowledge when it aligns with your own opinion, and it's also dangerous. Where's the data? Was it responsibly and diligently gathered, analyzed and processed into information? Is the information reliable? Is it based on reasonable conclusions without bias? Who is the source of the knowledge and how did they gain that knowledge?
Without rigour around data, information and knowledge, we won't find shared understanding, and wisdom will be a pipe dream. Because of all of that, it feels like we're headed for calamity.
My newspaper matters to me and I'll keep paying for it until I no longer can. You should consider doing the same (in my opinion).
Final note: Every word that I've written above is directed at people who largely share my worldview, not those who I feel are intentionally spreading "alternative facts". It's on you and me to defend the truth, not our preferred version of it.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Advice for Someone Starting a New Job
There's lots of good advice on the web for someone starting a new job. In today's post, I thought I'd provide some of this useful information to those of you who are in that situation. Because there's so much of it, I just pulled the material below from the first site I found Googling "advice for someone starting a new job". Feel free to do the search yourself and tap into other sites' wisdom as well.
From https://www.livecareer.com/quintessential/first-days-working (by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D., and Katharine Hansen, Ph.D.):
From https://www.livecareer.com/quintessential/first-days-working (by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D., and Katharine Hansen, Ph.D.):
You know the importance of a first impression. As a jobseeker, a first impression was very valuable; now that you’ve accepted a job offer, first impressions are again of critical importance.
First impressions about people often turn into long-term perceptions and opinions. This works well for people who make positive first impressions but can be a negative for people who make negative first impressions.
“I think the early days are when your boss and colleagues form the most lasting impressions about you,” said Ann Marie Russell, a program coordinator with AmeriCorps. “This is when they make assessments about your ‘typical’ behavior, and what ‘type’ of person you are.”(The authors then go on to list 21 tips. I've selected a handful only, to give you a sense of the sage wisdom included in the list.)
1. Have a Positive Attitude
Nothing works better to improve people’s first impression of you more than having a positive attitude. Let your enthusiasm for being part of the team and the organization show through to everyone you interact with. Leave your personal problems at home and concentrate on radiating your excitement for this new opportunity.
5. Ask Questions/Ask for Help
No one expects you to know everything when you first start a new job so feel free to ask questions or ask for help when you need it. Remember that it’s better to ask for clarification before you’ve spent time completing a task the wrong way. It can be easy to let pride get in the way when you first start a job but pretending you know things you don’t isn’t the wise path. Listen to your coworker, ask questions and communicate openly with your supervisors about any concerns that arise. No one expects you to know it all in the first weeks and months of a new job.
8. Learn Everything You Can About Your New Employer
In theory, you should have already done your homework during the interviewing process, but there is always a lot more to learn once you’re on the inside. Get an employee handbook and study it. In addition, gather all those reports and company literature and read as much as you can to become an expert on your organization.
11. Avoid Office Politics and Gossip
The workplace can be full of rumors and gossip. Your mission should be to stay above the fray. Take care not to associate the office gossips and don’t get involved in any office trash talk or politics, especially in the beginning. Repeating gossip will do nothing to help you make a good first impression at a new job.
12. Keep Personal Business on Company Time to a Minimum
Studies show that just about everyone conducts some amount of personal business on company time — checking email, making dinner reservations, buying stuff online. Your goal is to keep your personal business to a minimum and stay focused on work.
14. Listen More than Talk
Listening more than you talk can be one of the hardest skills to learn, especially for extroverts. However, you don’t want to get the reputation as the office know-it-all — or worse, someone who always has to have the limelight. If you have a legitimate contribution, make it, but if not, do more listening and absorbing during those first days on the job.
17. Find a Mentor
You don’t need to jump on this task your first day, but as you get introduced to senior staff, begin thinking about developing a mentoring relationship with a senior person in the organization. Mentoring has numerous benefits, from a simple sounding board to someone who helps direct and advance your career within the organization.
(and...) Final Thoughts on Your First Days on the Job
Being the newest member of the organization — the rookie — is both challenging and exciting. You’ll be faced with both difficulties and opportunities, and your goal should be to make the most of all situations. Don’t worry if you don’t make a perfect first impression in those early days on the job — few of us ever do. Remember to relax, keep your mind open, get to know your team members, and do your work. These things should help you go far in making a positive and lasting impression at your new job.
Monday, December 19, 2016
Epic Travel Day
It was my birthday yesterday. As a special gift, my company sent me on an all-expense-paid trip to Memphis, Tennessee (for business meetings today). And so began the adventure...
Was flying Toronto-Memphis with a connection in Chicago (90-minute connection, no problem). Started seeing delays in my flight starting at around 11am. First, 30 minutes, then 60, then an hour-15, then 2 hours-15, then 4 hours. After a while, decided to go to the airport and take my chances. Joined my colleague in the lounge who was also on the same trip, when suddenly the flight departure time moved up by 3 hours-15...giving us 5 minutes to dash from the lounge to the furthest point in the airport.
Dashed.
Boarded in Toronto with only a 40-minute delay, then waited another 40 minutes for other passengers who didn't know the flight had moved up by 3+ hours.
Eventually took off with a chance that we'd make Chicago in time for our Memphis connection. After all, flights rarely leave Chicago on time.
Landed in Chicago with 10 minutes to get from Terminal 1 to Terminal 2 before take-off. BUT, the Chicago-Memphis flight showed a 20 minute delay, so maybe, just maybe, they were waiting for us.
Dashed. Sprinted. The shuttle between Terminals arrived promptly. Dashed again. AND MADE IT, just in time to see them close the plane doors. It was a holiday miracle! A flight left on time! Agent at the gate said she held it as long as she could, but the flight was now irrevocably on its way. Next step was to go to customer service for a new flight and a hotel voucher (next flights to Memphis were in the morning - 7:30 am and noonish.)
100's of people waiting for same at customer service...line-up with no end in sight.
Fortunately, we had decided to buy my co-traveller a ticket on the 7:30 am flight just in case, so that at least one of us could get there in the morning. That paid off and he was set. For me, neither flight had seats remaining. I got on standby for the noonish flight.
That's when I noticed a Little Rock flight that I could take earlier, rent a car in Little Rock, drive a couple of hours to Memphis, and arrive earlier than the noonish Memphis flight was scheduled to arrive. Spoke to our agent and had her arrange that, car and everything.
Had drinks and a late dinner at the airport hotel we booked for ourselves (rather than waiting 2+ hours in line for the airline to do it) and set the alarm for my 8:58 am flight to Little Rock this morning.
Off went my colleague on the 7:30 am flight to Memphis. A little later, I headed over to the Little Rock gate. But wait! Little Rock was delayed by 30 minutes, then 60, then 3.5 hours.
Heard from my colleague (now in Memphis) that there were 4 empty seats on his flight (any one of which would have sufficed for my purposes, thank you very much).
Took that as a cue that maybe the noonish flight to Memphis now also had seats. Called my Agent. She switched me to that flight (another Terminal, same shuttle as last night). And now I sit and await my Memphis flight, boarding pass in hand.
My Memphis flight just got delayed 45 minutes. And in fact, I just checked again - literally this moment - it's been delayed again by another 2 hours.
I wish I was kidding.
Good news is that I fly back to Toronto tomorrow morning. That should go smoothly I'm sure.
Lessons learned:
Was flying Toronto-Memphis with a connection in Chicago (90-minute connection, no problem). Started seeing delays in my flight starting at around 11am. First, 30 minutes, then 60, then an hour-15, then 2 hours-15, then 4 hours. After a while, decided to go to the airport and take my chances. Joined my colleague in the lounge who was also on the same trip, when suddenly the flight departure time moved up by 3 hours-15...giving us 5 minutes to dash from the lounge to the furthest point in the airport.
Dashed.
Boarded in Toronto with only a 40-minute delay, then waited another 40 minutes for other passengers who didn't know the flight had moved up by 3+ hours.
Eventually took off with a chance that we'd make Chicago in time for our Memphis connection. After all, flights rarely leave Chicago on time.
Landed in Chicago with 10 minutes to get from Terminal 1 to Terminal 2 before take-off. BUT, the Chicago-Memphis flight showed a 20 minute delay, so maybe, just maybe, they were waiting for us.
Dashed. Sprinted. The shuttle between Terminals arrived promptly. Dashed again. AND MADE IT, just in time to see them close the plane doors. It was a holiday miracle! A flight left on time! Agent at the gate said she held it as long as she could, but the flight was now irrevocably on its way. Next step was to go to customer service for a new flight and a hotel voucher (next flights to Memphis were in the morning - 7:30 am and noonish.)
100's of people waiting for same at customer service...line-up with no end in sight.
Fortunately, we had decided to buy my co-traveller a ticket on the 7:30 am flight just in case, so that at least one of us could get there in the morning. That paid off and he was set. For me, neither flight had seats remaining. I got on standby for the noonish flight.
That's when I noticed a Little Rock flight that I could take earlier, rent a car in Little Rock, drive a couple of hours to Memphis, and arrive earlier than the noonish Memphis flight was scheduled to arrive. Spoke to our agent and had her arrange that, car and everything.
Had drinks and a late dinner at the airport hotel we booked for ourselves (rather than waiting 2+ hours in line for the airline to do it) and set the alarm for my 8:58 am flight to Little Rock this morning.
Off went my colleague on the 7:30 am flight to Memphis. A little later, I headed over to the Little Rock gate. But wait! Little Rock was delayed by 30 minutes, then 60, then 3.5 hours.
Heard from my colleague (now in Memphis) that there were 4 empty seats on his flight (any one of which would have sufficed for my purposes, thank you very much).
Took that as a cue that maybe the noonish flight to Memphis now also had seats. Called my Agent. She switched me to that flight (another Terminal, same shuttle as last night). And now I sit and await my Memphis flight, boarding pass in hand.
My Memphis flight just got delayed 45 minutes. And in fact, I just checked again - literally this moment - it's been delayed again by another 2 hours.
I wish I was kidding.
Good news is that I fly back to Toronto tomorrow morning. That should go smoothly I'm sure.
Lessons learned:
- With all the apps available to let you know departure times, you still need to assume your flight is departing at its original time...because it might.
- Travel agents still have lots of value to add. Even if it's just the off-load of waiting on the phone for airlines to pick up.
- No sense in getting frustrated or angry. The airlines don't (can't?) care because whatever is happening to you, something worse is happening to a whole bunch of someone elses... including those in the line in front of me last night who don't have agents, can't afford to buy extra tickets and/or are going through these situations with little children and/or infants.
Thursday, December 15, 2016
How Will 2016 Be Remembered?
Wow. That was quite a year.
I've heard a lot of people talking about how horrible 2016 was - the rise (return) of all sorts of terrible behaviours and beliefs around the world and too close to home, the painful US Election, the set-backs on important social gains for vulnerable groups, uncountable human tragedies resulting from natural and/or man-made disasters and wars and terrorism, the deaths of beloved figures from just about every Trivial Pursuit category, ...
Sad. Depressing. And nearly over.
I'm not sure that 2016 really stands out in these respects compared to other years, but it is recent and therefore most-easily remembered. Certainly, we haven't lost so many icons in any year that I remember.
However...maybe we made a few gains? Maybe we learned a few things from 2016 and get better as a result?
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that the under-30's genuinely woke up to the fact that they need to step up and rescue the world from their parents. The grown-ups really dropped the ball this year on all sorts of fronts and it feels like the under-30's watched in horror but didn't realize they could have made an enormous difference. Maybe they know that now and stop assuming we know what we're doing?
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that we all woke up to what we've been hearing for decades - that if we don't remember the past we are doomed to repeat it. At the same time that we're losing the last few people on the planet with first-hand experience of the horrors of WWI and WWII, maybe we're getting the kick in the pants we need to finally believe them and do something about it?
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that we became mobilized around the death of the truth, the importance of honest journalism, and the degree to which we have become vulnerable to lies.
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year when the voice of the people being left behind with respect to employment, health, education, and "the American Dream" overall, was finally heard.
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as a breakthrough year for mental health, when we finally started to talk about it openly, when it became as real for us as physical health. When gender issues finally started mattering to everyone. When the rest of us realized that women still aren't safe. When we finally started dealing with simmering (but carefully hidden and anonymous) xenophobic hate.
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that we finally began to deal with bullying and started to address the harm that people do to each other and society when the Internet gives absolute freedom to absolutely everybody to do absolutely anything they want.
Or maybe 2017 will be even worse?
I can't shake the feeling that that depends a lot on the under-30's. Not shirking. But I think I'll remember 2016 as the year when I personally realized how much better our kids can be at fixing the world than we have proven to be. They care. They are connected. They have reach. They are frighteningly smart. And maybe now, they've been activated by all they witnessed in 2016.
I hope so.
I've heard a lot of people talking about how horrible 2016 was - the rise (return) of all sorts of terrible behaviours and beliefs around the world and too close to home, the painful US Election, the set-backs on important social gains for vulnerable groups, uncountable human tragedies resulting from natural and/or man-made disasters and wars and terrorism, the deaths of beloved figures from just about every Trivial Pursuit category, ...
Sad. Depressing. And nearly over.
I'm not sure that 2016 really stands out in these respects compared to other years, but it is recent and therefore most-easily remembered. Certainly, we haven't lost so many icons in any year that I remember.
However...maybe we made a few gains? Maybe we learned a few things from 2016 and get better as a result?
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that the under-30's genuinely woke up to the fact that they need to step up and rescue the world from their parents. The grown-ups really dropped the ball this year on all sorts of fronts and it feels like the under-30's watched in horror but didn't realize they could have made an enormous difference. Maybe they know that now and stop assuming we know what we're doing?
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that we all woke up to what we've been hearing for decades - that if we don't remember the past we are doomed to repeat it. At the same time that we're losing the last few people on the planet with first-hand experience of the horrors of WWI and WWII, maybe we're getting the kick in the pants we need to finally believe them and do something about it?
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that we became mobilized around the death of the truth, the importance of honest journalism, and the degree to which we have become vulnerable to lies.
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year when the voice of the people being left behind with respect to employment, health, education, and "the American Dream" overall, was finally heard.
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as a breakthrough year for mental health, when we finally started to talk about it openly, when it became as real for us as physical health. When gender issues finally started mattering to everyone. When the rest of us realized that women still aren't safe. When we finally started dealing with simmering (but carefully hidden and anonymous) xenophobic hate.
Maybe 2016 will be remembered as the year that we finally began to deal with bullying and started to address the harm that people do to each other and society when the Internet gives absolute freedom to absolutely everybody to do absolutely anything they want.
Or maybe 2017 will be even worse?
I can't shake the feeling that that depends a lot on the under-30's. Not shirking. But I think I'll remember 2016 as the year when I personally realized how much better our kids can be at fixing the world than we have proven to be. They care. They are connected. They have reach. They are frighteningly smart. And maybe now, they've been activated by all they witnessed in 2016.
I hope so.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Thoughts from an Italian Restaurant
I had dinner last night with a few childhood friends - one I've know since my teenage years at camp (in from the States with her husband) and two others who go all the way back to grade school.
My friend from camp (let's call her "Jennifer"), her husband, and their two sons had spent most of the week in the area and told us all about their adventures: CN Tower, Grey Cup Game, Leafs game, Hockey Hall of Fame, a well-appointed Airbnb in Liberty Village, long walks downtown, great restaurants, sports bars, and so on.
I remarked at some point how great this "Toronto" of which she spoke sounded: "I really should visit some time".
Funny how we can get so used to being in a place that we lose sight of how great that place is. I take a commuter train in from the suburbs every day, I work in the building that sits on top of the Hockey Hall of Fame, the CN Tower is on full display from my office window, and I have hundreds of world class restaurants big and small, expensive and not, a short walk from my building. But I don't even notice that stuff anymore and I choose the food court every day because it's fast and easy.
Nothing new in any of this: I'm not the only one who loses sight of the city around them and needs to be reminded how great it is by people who visit from elsewhere; and I'm certainly not the first person to call it out.
But David's posts are never really about what they seem to be about. As someone once told me, David's posts are like an onion (I think they meant that after you read them, you can't get the smell out of your fingers for the rest of the day - or something like that).
The real insight that struck me this morning as I took the train in to work is that lifelong friends are like the city you live in. You get so used to them, that it's easy to lose sight of how amazing they are and how vital your relationship with them is. (Same goes for family, of course, but I didn't have dinner with family last night - this is about friends).
It takes American visitors to open my eyes (again) to the city around me. And it takes a far too infrequent get-together with people I've known most of my life to remind me of the cherished place they have in my heart. (And even then, I don't realize it until the next morning).
Sometimes it's months (and it's occasionally been years) between times that we're together, but every time it's like the needle on the record player slipping back into the groove over which it's been hovering since I last heard the music, and the melody continues like it had never been interrupted.
And to continue the sappy analogy, the music that's playing isn't them...it's us. It's me.
Signing off now before I ruin your breakfast. Speaking of which, I have to run down to the food court and grab something.
...David
My friend from camp (let's call her "Jennifer"), her husband, and their two sons had spent most of the week in the area and told us all about their adventures: CN Tower, Grey Cup Game, Leafs game, Hockey Hall of Fame, a well-appointed Airbnb in Liberty Village, long walks downtown, great restaurants, sports bars, and so on.
I remarked at some point how great this "Toronto" of which she spoke sounded: "I really should visit some time".
Funny how we can get so used to being in a place that we lose sight of how great that place is. I take a commuter train in from the suburbs every day, I work in the building that sits on top of the Hockey Hall of Fame, the CN Tower is on full display from my office window, and I have hundreds of world class restaurants big and small, expensive and not, a short walk from my building. But I don't even notice that stuff anymore and I choose the food court every day because it's fast and easy.
Nothing new in any of this: I'm not the only one who loses sight of the city around them and needs to be reminded how great it is by people who visit from elsewhere; and I'm certainly not the first person to call it out.
But David's posts are never really about what they seem to be about. As someone once told me, David's posts are like an onion (I think they meant that after you read them, you can't get the smell out of your fingers for the rest of the day - or something like that).
The real insight that struck me this morning as I took the train in to work is that lifelong friends are like the city you live in. You get so used to them, that it's easy to lose sight of how amazing they are and how vital your relationship with them is. (Same goes for family, of course, but I didn't have dinner with family last night - this is about friends).
It takes American visitors to open my eyes (again) to the city around me. And it takes a far too infrequent get-together with people I've known most of my life to remind me of the cherished place they have in my heart. (And even then, I don't realize it until the next morning).
Sometimes it's months (and it's occasionally been years) between times that we're together, but every time it's like the needle on the record player slipping back into the groove over which it's been hovering since I last heard the music, and the melody continues like it had never been interrupted.
And to continue the sappy analogy, the music that's playing isn't them...it's us. It's me.
Signing off now before I ruin your breakfast. Speaking of which, I have to run down to the food court and grab something.
...David
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Penguins vs. Seals
If you're reading the title of this post and thinking that today I've chosen to write about the rivalry between the NHL's Pittsburgh Penguins and the California Golden Seals, man you're old. They last played on March 13, 1976 (a 4-2 win for Pittsburgh).But this post does have something to do with age and generations.
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of visiting my eldest daughter in Vancouver (beautiful place, lousy hockey team). While there, one of her good friends invited us over for a dinner party and I found myself in a room with some really nice 23-29-year olds.
Somehow, at some point in the evening, the topic of seals came up. Suddenly, I was confronted by a prejudice of which I had theretofore been unaware. At least one of my daughter's friends HATED seals. Seals! Seals? How can anyone hate seals?
I was aghast. Seals are my favourite.
As a child, I spent long hours at the zoo watching the seals. Whatever weather, whatever time of year, seals were one of the few animals that would be active, playful, fun, engaging, and engaged. Bumbling idiots on the land, and sleek, graceful and majestic entertainers underwater. My spirit animal? Maybe. (Although I was always a bumbling idiot in the water - because my parents never bothered to teach me to swim as a child - and sleek graceful and majestic on land).
Later in life, when I first got out to San Francisco, I saw mounds of seals at Pier 39 lying one on top of each other, soaking up the warm summer sun, occasionally barking their pleasure at the world. I remember thinking to myself at the time, "What other animal enjoys the simple life as much? Why can't I kick back and take that much pleasure in being with my peeps and just loving life?"
So what did this kid have against seals?
I asked.
In 2005 (when some of these people in the room were 12-ish) March of the Penguins debuted.
The following year gave us Happy Feet.
For these kids, at a young and impressionable age, the movies were teaching them that seals were "horrible and evil" creatures (to paraphrase the person to whom I was speaking that evening).
Now, I love penguins too. They too, at the zoo as a child, were a go-to animal for me any time of year. They too, bumbled on land and flourished underwater. They too entertained. They too seemed to be generally happy with their lot in life (although I of course recognize that zoos shouldn't be their lot in life and they probably hate it).
But I never EVER thought of penguins as the good guys and seals as the bad guys just because some seals enjoy the occasional penguin. Penguins eat fish, don't they? If seals are villains because they eat penguins, shouldn't one also conclude that penguins are villains because they eat fish? Or don't fish count?
I say we retreat from vilifying animals for doing what they must to survive. And instead, let's look at ourselves - humankind - and our seemingly innate tendency to pick sides, to get righteously indignant about the behaviour of one side or the other, and to hate for no good reason at all.
Love thy penguin. Love thy seal. Love life.
Condemn those who hate wherever you encounter them. They are the villains, not the seals. And certainly not the donkeys or the elephants (look it up).
(And no, daughter's friend, I don't mean to imply that you're a villain of any sort. I thought you were sweet and a great friend to my daughter. I loved dinner and enjoyed the company. Sorry you have a shitty bottle opener. I meant to buy you a new one but the weather in Vancouver was lousy and I was only there a couple of days so I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. Your pal...David.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)