Don't Become Emotionally Attached to a Balloon (and other mistakes wecan all learn from)

We all make mistakes: We do or say things that hurt others; we mess something up at work; we slice a finger when we're supposed to be slicing bread; we throw to the wrong base with the game tied in the bottom of the ninth; we buy the wrong kind of milk.

If we're smart, we learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others and become a little better at navigating our day-to-day as a result. (In fact, I'd say that it's a big mistake not to learn from your mistakes and you shouldn't do that more than once.)

In the spirit of giving back, here are some mistakes that you now never have to make:

• Never buy a bathroom scale as a gift for someone you love. Even if they asked for one.
• Never attend a time-share presentation because of a promised free gift. I don't care what the free gift is, it's not better than the gift of not having ever attended a time-share presentation.
• <This item was removed because it would have been a mistake to include it>
• Don't ever run down a staircase with a low ceiling. And if you're the spouse of someone who is splayed out on the floor after having run down a staircase with a low ceiling, ask them if they need medical attention before you start laughing hysterically.
• Don't ever tell someone that you really, really liked something they cooked for you if you didn't.
• Don't become emotionally attached to a balloon.
• If you have a mother who worries about things, it's not funny to lie down on the icy sidewalk at the bottom of the front-door p and writhe in feigned agony.
• Don't wash giant centipedes down your shower drain. And if you don't want your wife to know that there are spiders in the basement that you're not killing, don't talk about it on Facebook.
• Sometimes the best answer is to pretend you didn't hear the question (like when someone asks you if a dress makes them look heavier, or if Simba's daddy is dead).
• Always re-read your e-mails and blog posts before you send/publish them (see item 3).

I hope these help you. I'd be interested in your list, but I know that nobody ever responds to my posts so I expect nothing. Sniff.