Donnie Booth's Tooth

The following is inspired - obviously - by "There Was an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly" and - less obviously - by a good friend of mine who snapped a toothpick when trying to free some wedged-in dental floss from his teeth.

I dedicate it to everyone who has ever experienced that sinking feeling when you hear your dental floss rip.

Donnie Booth's Tooth

A boy of eleven called Donnie Booth,
Had a kernel of corn lodged in his tooth.

He went to the pantry for floss just then,
To loosen the corn and take it out again.

But the space was tight and the floss was wide, 
And a piece ripped off and stayed inside.

With a toothpick, next, pushed there and here,
He tried to force the floss strand clear.

(The floss that stuck beneath the corn
Causing Donnie grief that early morn.)

But the toothpick snapped and half got lost,
Behind the kernel and the piece of floss.

Out came some tweezers with which Donnie meant,
To grab the wood all splintered and bent.

(From the half a toothpick with which he'd tried
To free the floss from his mouth's inside;

The floss that stuck beneath the corn
Making Donnie's mood somewhat forlorn.)

But the tweezers slipped off Donnie's thumb,
And one tweeze got wedged between tooth and gum.

So next young Don tried pliers to tease,
The tweezers from out his gums with ease.

(They'd gotten there when Donnie meant,
To grab the wood all splintered and bent;

From the half a toothpick with which he'd tried,
To free the floss from his mouth's inside;

The floss that stuck beneath the corn,
Making Donnie wish he'd not been born.)

But just as the pliers got fastened on,
Their handle cracked on poor, young Don.

"I'll saw them off" thought Don with care,
About the broken pliers now hanging there.

(The ones he'd used to try to tease,
The tweezers from out his gums with ease;

That had gotten there when Donnie meant
To grab the wood all splintered and bent;

From the half a toothpick with which he'd tried
To free the floss from his mouth's inside;

The floss that stuck beneath the corn,
Now long forgotten that fateful morn.)

But as Donnie tried to aim the saw,
He trapped its handle against his jaw.

At last Don knew he needed aid,
And called his Dad to free the blade

(The blade of the saw trapped near his face,
When cutting the pliers from their place;

The pliers he'd used to try to tease,
The tweezers from out his gums with ease;

That had gotten there when Donnie meant,
To grab the wood all splintered and bent;

From the half a toothpick with which he'd tried,
To free the floss from his mouth's inside;

The floss that stuck beneath the corn,
Since hours before, that early morn.)

AND his Dad succeeded in freeing the saw!
AND when out it came, so came it all!
The pliers and tweezers and pick and floss,
Without another moment's loss.
AND finally the corn, there from the first,
POPPED OUT on its own with a tiny burst.

So young Don Booth, now free for lunch,
Took another cob and began to munch...

(Knowing his Dad was there, if he needed him,
To pull out a saw should things turn grim;

If the saw got wedged in any way,
When trying to cut some pliers away;

If those pliers snapped when trying to tease,
Some tweezers out from whence they'd squeezed;

If the tweezers were jammed into a space,
When aimed at wood stuck deep in place;

If wood had splintered off a pick,
When digging at floss, shredded thick;

If the floss had ripped,
when sliding free,

A new piece
of corn...

...or 2or 3).