Bunny awoke with a start from a horrible dream. He had been in the forest with some of his forest pals. There had been a thunderous noise approaching that sounded like a gigantic herd of monsters. He hadn't been able to move. With the ground shaking and just as the dark shadows of the onrushing crowd of beasts were coming into view, his eyes had snapped open.
He had to warn his friends.
He found them at the usual place on the forest trail: Snake, Frog, and Snail.
"Guys! Guys!" he shouted with panic in his voice, "There's something terrible coming. It'll kill us all. I've seen it."
His friends, who had been chatting quietly, looked up, paused, and then started to snicker. "Oh Bunny, what issssssss it now?" asked Snake quite unconcerned by his skittish friend's warning.
"A herd! A terrible...enormous....stampeding herd...of monsters. It's c-c-c-coming. I know it is!" Answered Bunny, voice halting with panic.
"Ohhh...a herd," answered Frog, barely suppressing his laughter, "a giant herd of monsters, is it?"
"Sounds downright nasty, doesn't it?" continued Snail, making knowing eye contact with Snake and Frog.
"We need to run away! NOW!" Shouted Bunny, oblivious to to his friends' mockery.
Composing himself, eyes glistening as he barely contained a chortle, Snake answered Bunny: "Well, friend, if a giant herd of monstersssss ssssssuddenly showsss up, I would never run away. With my sssssserpentine movement I can elude any creature under the ssssssssun."
"And I," added Frog, "will simply vanish from sight using my amazing camouflage."
"My super-strong shell can withstand a crushing blow from any creature," bragged Snail, "I'm in no danger either."
"Why don't you hop off like you alwayssssss do and leave usssssss alone?" added Snake, "Your frightened, ssssssssstuttered warningssssssssss are sssssssssstarting to ruin thissssssssssss beautiful morning."
"Now, SHOO!" said Frog, punctuating his final word on the matter with a cruel laugh.
Bunny was about to insist, once again, that the danger was real but instead he grew very still as his big ears picked up an approaching rumble. His eyes grew very large. And with no further thought to the safety of his friends, he darted off into the forest, as rabbits are wont to do.
His friends, a few moments later, also heard the growing noise. With dawning understanding, they prepared their defenses. Snake started slithering back-and-forth, back-and-forth. Frog flattened himself against a leaf that matched his skin tone perfectly. Snail pulled all his gooey sensitive parts into his shell.
And just then, a group of recreational runners appeared on the trail, towering over the small creatures. One stepped on Snake despite his agile movements. Another landed square on the back of the invisible frog. A third crushed Snail's shell without even noticing. And off they ran, further down the trail and out of sight.
With the sounds of danger slipping further off into the distance, Bunny returned to the scene of devastation. Snake was torn in two. Snail's gooey parts were dripping out of shards of shell. Frog was flattened under a tread that clearly read "New Balance".
He felt a little sad, but surprisingly, he also felt pretty good. He was alive, after all. The sun was shining. And the peace and tranquility of his forest home had been restored.
"Bye guys," he said, as he hopped off to his favourite leaf-nibbling spot, chuckling to himself that Frog's final word had been "Shoo."
Moral of the story: While it might seem like snakes, frogs and snails are really cool, they are in fact jerks and bullies. Bunnies have lots and lots of sex, poo where they want, and dart away from me long before I almost step on them when I run the forest trails. Bunnies rule.
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