Amazing Race New York

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Three teams from a professional services organization - each heading to Long Island for an important client engagement scheduled to begin on Wednesday at 8:30 am - set out on a madcap race with staggered start times across the Greater Toronto Area.

Team One, made up of David (yours truly) and his colleague "H" are scheduled on a 9:15 Air Canada flight leaving from Toronto's Pearson Airport (YYZ) and arriving at Laguardia (LGA) 90 minutes later.

Team Two, "J", "D", and "S", are scheduled on a 10:15 AC flight from the same airport.

Team Three, "B" and "L", won't depart until 2:15, again on AC from YYZ.

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9:15 am - Team One boards their flight. Every last seat is full because cancellations of AC flights to NY the day before have caused a passenger spill-over on every flight between YYZ and LGA scheduled that day. David's plan is to watch half a movie on the flight (the other half on the return) and chooses Sicario.

9:45 am - The plane pushes back from the gate and promptly dies. It is still and quiet on board - no fans are whirring, no engines are humming. A M*A*S*H moment plays in David's head ("Do you hear that?", "What? I don't hear anything", "That's what I mean...")

9:46 am - The intrepid pilot appears from out his cockpit, addressing us in person: "As you can see, the plane has completely powered off. I will be turning it back on in a moment. When I do, either everything will be okay or all of the pre-flight programming I've done will be lost and it'll take me about 15 minutes to redo it."

10:01 am - The plane is powered back up and ready to go. Sadly, David's progress on Sicario is lost and he must re-start it at the beginning and fast-forward. "Oh well", he thinks, "at least we're on our way..."

10:15 am - The pilot comes to address us in person again: "I have some bad news. Laguardia has just closed. It's called a 'ground hold' (or something like that - that's me speaking, not the pilot) and it's because there's too much traffic landing there and so they don't allow any other flights to take off for a while. We are on a one hour and forty-five minute hold. Another flight needs our gate so we're going to push back and hold on the tarmac. But that's okay because there's a one-hour line up for de-icing here in Toronto. If all goes well, the timing will work out for us. Before we push back, I'll give you the option of getting off the plane with only one rule: you cannot have checked baggage." (Not that Team One would have left the plane given what they knew at that point, but they do have checked baggage and so they don't have that option).

Some people begin to leave the plane. Apparently there is some confusion because some of those leaving think they'll be getting back on the plane once we've left the gate. After several announcements to that effect, those who are staying settle back in for the wait.

In the meantime, H - David's team-mate, sitting directly behind him - gets word that Team Two's flight has been cancelled. The Team One members realize how lucky they are to be on possibly the only flight that will get out of Toronto that day bound for Laguardia. H, who is in charge of getting everyone to New York, calls the travel partner to find other options for Team Two. Team Three begins their trek to Pearson.

12:15 pm - David finishes Sicario and starts Burnt (probably because the title seems so apropos).

12:45 pm - The engines rev up, the plane races down the runway and is shortly airborne. Hoorah! Team One has a seemingly insurmountable lead. Poor Team Two has chosen its only same-day alternative: They will fly to Boston and take a car service from Boston to Long Island. If all goes well, they will arrive around 9:30 pm. Team Three arrives at Pearson.

1:40 pm - The pilot makes an announcement: "Laguardia has closed again. They won't be letting any planes land for 30 minutes. Problem is we don't have enough gas to wait 30 minutes and keep our options open if the airport still isn't allowing us to land. So we'll talk to them and see what we can do. We may have to land somewhere else."

1:50 pm - The pilot makes an announcement: "We're heading back to Toronto." David doesn't hear the rest of the announcement. H kicks his chair.

2:25 pm - David finishes Burnt and closes his eyes.

3:30 pm - Team One arrives at Pearson. Team Two's flight to Boston is boarding as is Team Three's flight to Laguardia. Team One's flight is now officially cancelled. They must leave the plane, clear customs, get their bags and re-start their travels anew.

4:00 pm - H's bag is in her hands. David's bag is on the conveyer that leads to the carousel - just out of reach - when the conveyer and carousel promptly stop dead. H leaves for the Air Canada counter in Aisle 3 Departures Level as per instructions to see what options they will offer and to ensure Team One's return flight doesn't get cancelled by accident. The Travel Agent has booked cancellable flights to Newark on Porter (Toronto Island airport) leaving at 8:30 pm just in case.

4:15 pm - David bumps into H on her way from Aisle 3 Departures Level to Aisle 15 Departures level where the airline should have sent her in the first place. They walk from one end of the airport to the other together. H has since learned that Team Two's flight has been delayed by 90 minutes and that Team Three's flight has been cancelled. Porter's 8:30 pm flight has been sold out. The next option available for Team 3 is Porter's 6:30 am flight the next day. Teams Two and Three are booked (with cancellable tickets) on that flight. Team One is on the 8:30 pm Porter flight and is suddenly back in the lead!

4:45 pm - Nothing doing at Aisle 15 Departures level. Just a bank of white Air Canada phones. No human beings present except the intrepid members of Team One. Team Three is now minutes from having their baggage and leaving Pearson, so Team One and Team Three decide to travel downtown together, have dinner, and await Team One's flight. Team Three is booked into a downtown Toronto hotel. Meanwhile, Team Two's flight has miraculously departed for Boston. They are now in the lead.

5:00 pm - Teams One and Three board the Union/Pearson (UP) train to downtown Toronto.

5:30 pm - Teams One and Three sit down for dinner at a pub near the Porter airport shuttle.

6:15 pm - On a whim, H checks the Porter flights for that evening. Two seats have magically opened up on the 7:40 pm flight. Not wanting to lose Team One's seats on the 8:30, she graciously books Team Three onto the 7:40...SUCCESSFULLY. Now Team Three will be on the 7:40, Team One on the 8:30, and Team Two will be arriving in Boston at any moment. We may all get there after all! Teams One and Three hastily exit the pub and grab a Taxi to the Island Airport.

6:30 pm - Teams One and Three arrive at the Island Airport. There is no possibility of stand-by for Team One on the 7:40. Only Team Three will be on that flight. Oh well. Teams One and Three agree to meet up in Newark and share the 90 minute drive from there to Laguardia to save significant money.

6:45 pm - The 8:30pm Porter flight is delayed to 10:15, no 10:30, no 10:25. The 7:40 is looking good for on-time departure.

8:00 pm - Team Three is on their way. Team One starts watching Netflix on the floor of the Island Airport. Team Two is in a car from Boston to Long Island. Team Three will no longer be waiting from Team One in Newark. Another car is arranged.

9:30 pm - Team Three is in a car from Newark to long Island. David is onto his second episode of Jessica Jones.

10:40 pm - Team One is off on its second flight to New York of the day.

12:03 am - Team One has safely landed in Newark. Team Three is snuggled down in their beds in the hotel on Long Island. Team Two has arrived in Long Island as well.

12:15 am - Team One has finally located its driver. He was awaiting them in a cell phone lot. The first words out of his mouth are: "I sure hope one of you knows how to get out of Newark. I don't." He is not joking.

12:30ish am - Team One and its driver are entering Manhattan. H is following our progress on Waze. The driver seems to be heading in a direction that is opposite to the one that will get us to Long Island. She politely mentions this to the driver...several times. The driver becomes increasingly annoyed with H. He has been living in Manhattan all his life and knows the way to Long Island, thank you very much.

2:00 am - David awakens to flashing lights. The driver has been pulled over for driving 100 mph on the Long Island Expressway. The police officers asks him what he was thinking, driving 100 mph on the LIE. His response: "I was just about to exit" (the implication being that he had slowed down to only 100 mph so that he could exit). The police officer asks again "What does exiting have to do with you driving 100 mph on the LIE???" The driver points a thumb at H and answers that he was driving that fast because the lady in the back wanted to get home because she's tired.

2:20 am - Team One is on its way again.

2:30 am - Team One arrives at the hotel.

2:45 am - David gets into bed.

Team Three won Amazing Race New York, getting to Long Island at around 11:00 pm. Team Two finished in second, asleep by 12:30 am. Team one finished a distant third, with a 2:45 am bed time. But everybody won because we did eventually make it, a little bleary eyed, but ready for action at 7:15 am.

Epilogue: Mid-day on Wednesday, H receives an e-mail letting her know that Team One's driver from the night before has been terminated. David thinks about it. The driver has David's cell number and knows where he is staying for the next 72 hours. But what could happen...?