Packing Maslow

Remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?

From simplypsychology.org:

"Maslow's (1943, 1954) hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory in psychology comprising a five tier model of human needs, often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid. Maslow stated that people are motivated to achieve certain needs and that some needs take precedence over others. Our most basic need is for physical survival, and this will be the first thing that motivates our behaviour. Once that level is fulfilled the next level up is what motivates us, and so on."

I didn't remember it either, at least while we were packing for our move into the new house.

Only after the fact did I realize that we should have been "Packing Maslow", a different approach to filling and sorting moving boxes according to what you'll need most desperately at the other end.
(I expect similar thinking applies when packing for a vacation or business trip, but I'll leave that to my devoted readers to think through for themselves.)

So without further fanfare, here is what I mean by...

Packing Maslow

How do we ordinarily pack for a move? First, we make ourselves very, very busy and leave most of the heavy-lifting to our significant other. Having done so, what the significant other does is move room-by-room, dutifully filling boxes with items, more-or-less in the physical sequence of their position in the room. As a result, boxes end up with labels like: 'Kitchen: glasses and stuff' and 'Basement: books'.

(The 'more-or-less' is because no block of physical space in the old house has homogeneous items that precisely fill a box, and so the leftover space in each box is filled with other items that are nearby, or possibly not nearby.)

In more sophisticated packing situations (like at the beginning of the packing period, when intentions are still good and tedium and fatigue have not yet set in) rather than being labelled based on where things were, boxes might have labels reflecting where they should be. For example: 'Kitchen: glasses and stuff' and 'Basement: books'.

Then, when the movers come, they carefully look at the label on each box and randomly place the boxes according to a formula that, translated from mathematical symbols, looks something like this:

PLACE-TO-PUT-BOX = MIN-DISTANCE-AND-EFFORT (MARKED-DESTINATION-ON-BOX; ANY-OPEN-SPACE) / SCRUTINY-BEING-APPLIED-AT-THE-MOMENT-BY-CUSTOMER

As a result, on that first night in the new house, everything can be anywhere, and the evening's conversation is predominantly made up of conversations like:

"Honey, where is my underwear?"

"In the box marked: 'Bedroom Closet: David's Middle Drawer' "

"But my underwear were in the top drawer. And I can't find any boxes marked 'Bedroom Closet'."

"Oh. Well I know there were some in the last load of laundry that I did."

"And where is that?"

"Try the box marked: 'Laundry Room: Stuff in the Dryer'".

"Do you know where that box is?"

"I think I saw it in the kitchen."

Very simply, 'Packing Maslow' applies Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Boxes are arranged and labeled based on these needs:

1. Physiological needs (food, water, warmth and rest).

The essentials for days (and nights) 1-3 are in boxes labeled 'Physiological needs'. These boxes COME WITH YOU IN YOUR CAR. They contain: some dishes, glasses, cutlery, and napkins (so you can eat the take-out in your new house without using plastic); pyjamas, bed linens, blanket, pillow, and basic toiletry and bedside essentials (toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, soap, alarm clock, book and reading glasses) so you can be warm and get some sleep; and three changes of clothes that meet the needs of your next three days' schedule (might include underwear, socks, dress pants, loungewear, moisture-wicking-sweatwear for when - and if - you're helping to unpack). 

DON'T FORGET SHOES. It's amazing how shoes become a physiological need when you're up first thing in the morning to catch the train and you suddenly realize your dress shoes haven't appeared yet - mine were in the spare room in the basement in a box marked 'Front Closet: David's Shoes', which also happened to be the last room I thought of checking on morning #1 in the dark with my iPhone flashlight because who the hell knows where light switches are.

And if you have children, you need to do the same for each of them. Here, the challenge is thinking through their physiological needs, because they aren't necessarily the same as yours. For example: Bearsy didn't make my list, but the 8-year-old couldn't go to sleep without him.

2. Safety needs (security, safety)

Once you've reached basic survival in the new house, you can start to think about security and safety. Tripping over boxes in each room isn't safe. Leaving boxes containing your valuables at the front-door with labels like 'Anywhere but the front-door: Valuables' isn't secure. Can you lock the front door and reliably open it? Do you know your new address in case you accidentally drive to the old house and need to tell your GPS where the new one is?

Not only should you pack a box of essential security / safety needs and label it 'Safety needs', you should also now spend a few moments in each room thinking about what's safe and what's not safe; what's secure and what's not secure. (E.g. should we take that 5-box-high stack of 'Basement: Books' and move it from the family room, where it hovers over the couch? Or at least unstack it?)

3. Belongingness and love needs (intimate relationships, friends)

I'm going to pretend for a minute that TV and Internet are not physiological needs, and that it's only when you get to belongingness and love that these essential items come into play. Pack a set of boxes labeled 'Belongingness and love' and make sure they contain:

• Wireless hub and all the related wiring.
• TV remotes, DVD connectors, and all the related wiring.
• Telephones, and all the related wiring.
• Etc.

The actual TV(s), DVD player(s), and other large 'belongingness and love' appliances, won't be in boxes and should be easy to find - so the key is to know where the stuff is that goes with those items to make them work. 

Other belongingness and love needs? Can't think of any, but if you have some, throw them in as well. 

4. Esteem needs (prestige and feeling of accomplishment)

When going through a move, the esteem needs are met when you've reached stability in the new house. There's prestige and a feeling of accomplishment in a job well done. 

For that reason, your next area of focus should be cheering on your significant other as she unpacks all the remaining boxes. Make her feel a sense of accomplishment each time she empties a box. Get up off the couch every now and then and give her a 'thank you' peck on the cheek. Heck, buy her a coffee.

Even better, choose an easy box and unpack it yourself! For example, I unpacked the box labelled: 'Bedroom Closet: David's Middle Drawer' without asking for help (once she found it for me). Talk about a feeling of accomplishment.

Other esteem needs, like all your half-marathon medals (participation medals, that is) while important, don't need to be unpacked until she's ready. They can be in boxes labeled 'Esteem needs' and stay there until after the TV and internet are up and running.

5. Self-Actualization (achieving one's full potential, including creative activities)

You only reach this point once things are so stable that you've returned to life-as-usual. It's okay if you get there before your significant other - everybody has different self-actualization timetables.

As you should now understand, I've finally arrived at that point - able to write a blog post about my harrowing move.

Sure, the tap water smells funny, we can't find anything in the kitchen, weeds are taking hold in the garden, we don't have a table to eat at, the 8-year-old is sleeping on the floor, and there are bunch of boxes in the spare room in the basement that contain things that seemed important when we packed but so far haven't asserted their importance now that we're in...

...the important thing is that 4 of us sat down on the couch in front of the TV together last night for the first time and we lost ourselves in 'The Secret Lives of Pets'. What could be more self-actualizing than that?

Great job significant other! You're almost there...