Making Sense of Rock, Paper, Scissors

Here's the thing: Rock breaks scissors - I get that; scissors cut paper - yes to that too; but paper covers rock? That's where I take issue.

Imagine you're a rock. "Ooh. I'm a rock. I'm so scared that I'm going to get covered by some paper. Not that! No! Don't cover me! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah." I'm sorry it just doesn't work.

Rock totally kick paper's ass every time. Rock rips through paper. Rock causes paper to lose its shape and get all crinkled. Rock pins paper down while someone goes to get some matches. See what I mean?

I'm sure this is old news to anyone who's ever lost something important in a rock-paper-scissors match. You've got to think about it when you've just lost your car, right?

What I propose is a re-thinking of the objects used in rock-paper-scissors, and I've got a few suggestions:

1. rock / time / scissors - time erodes rock; rock breaks scissors; scissors are used to kill time by cutting things. Simple change - and the hand symbol for time can be looking at the back of your wrist. What's even better is that the symbol for time looks a lot like the symbol for rock - so imagine the opportunities to cheat and to fight about the outcomes. Now that's fun. (It gives me great delight knowing that you just tried both the symbols for rock and for time to see what I mean. Thank you.)
2. chicken / spiders / David - chickens eat spiders; spiders terrify David; David cooks chicken. I've got the hand symbol for spiders worked out. It's a downward rotation of the five-finger waggling motion that my Sister and Brother-in-law use on the rare times they win a hand in euchre. For chicken, you just make your hand look like a beak. Not sure what the hand symbol for David is yet - and I'm not looking for suggestions.
3. technology / human interaction / nerds - it probably goes without saying, but technology undermines human interaction; human interaction frightens nerds; nerds command technology. Here you use the scissor symbol for technology (scissors are technology, let's remember), the paper symbol for human interaction (you know, like when we used to send each other letters), and the rock symbol for nerds because the bunched up fist represents how frustrated they get when you ask them for their homework, again.

Author's note: I have been called a nerd by my daughters and a few other people. While it's a completely unfounded accusation, I nonetheless use the term 'nerd' with affection and consider others who've been labeled that way to be kindred spirits. I'm sorry if I offended anybody. Human interaction does not frighten me. Spiders do.

Author's note part deux: My Sister and Brother-in-law probably win in euchre quite often. Just not when I'm playing them.