A Compundium of David's Facebook Status Word Play

I share my blog posts on Facebook, but I've never really shared my Facebook statuses in my blog. So with the spotlight on wordplay, here's some stuff from the last 5 years that I'm really proud of...

Wordplay involving my youngest daughter...

• Dropped Micaela's toothpaste last night. She was crestfallen.
• I went tobogganing with Micaela today for the first time - I guess it's all downhill from here. She and I are going to start playing with her astronomy kit next, so things are looking up. 
• Micaela and I were reading The Giving Tree last night before bed. We made it to the part where the tree says "cut down my trunk boy" and Micaela burst into tears and made me stop. I'd like to say I understand her reaction, but frankly I'm stumped.
• 
  We bought Micaela her first Lego kit (they come in 2 colour themes now - blue, for boys and girls who like blue, and pink, for boys and girls who like pink). She then enjoyed another first: stepping on a Lego brick. That made quite an impression.

Word and Picture Play

• Micaela came home from school with a bum knee

• Micaela blue her nose

• What do you call that dessert that I love the best? It's on the tip of my tongue...

• Great things come in small wrappers

Subtle and Tasteful Word Play

• Did anyone at McDonald's say the word "McWrap" out loud before deciding to use that name?
• I usually do my Facebooking first thing in the morning and there's usually way too much to catch up on because so many people are online until the wee hours of the morning intent on posting their every thought and activity. It would be much easier for me if you would all just cut down on your nocturnal e-missions. (I'm just kidding by the way...I don't usually read anyone else's posts.)
• (Taking extra care to avoid typos...) It's a good night for an election! 
• Gotta love those early morning runs! (6K at 5:30AM in the rain - and shame on you for thinking anything else).
• Toilet training is a big job. But now that we've started, there's no going back. Bummer.
• There is a specific dollhouse / tiny character set that is often on display in toy stores for kids to play with (like the train set I'm sure you've seen). Micaela has played with it 4 times in 2 different stores and each time she's filled her diaper within 5 minutes (which is so cool that I'm happy to change her diaper). I can't believe I was able to tell that story so tastefully and avoid all the great puns. PS - we always go home shortly thereafter because she's all pooped out.

Word Play Involving Sports

• I think the men's relay disqualification was out of line.
• Ran the half marathon yesterday. It made me feel like a bull with disappointing children. (My calves let me down).
• I was watching the NBA playoffs from the kitchen. I had to leave. (Can't stand the Heat).

Math Word Play

• If you're wondering what differentiates today from all other days, it is Middle's final High School exam (calculus). It's integral that she pushes herself to the limit and derives a great mark, so please join me in wishing her luck! As incentive, I hereby pledge to write her a cheque in the amount of her mark if she gets over 95% (I'll sine it, but I doubt Angie will cosine). Also, yesterday I tripped over a guy who was outside bronzing in the sun (sorry - not sure how I got onto that tangent).
• Integers are pointless.

Word Play On the Road

• Making like Jonah this week (in Wales).
• Went into a public bathroom. There was a sign that said "wet floor". I didn't want to, so I left.

Obtuse Word Play

• Deflated? Flat indeed. (Isn't the English language grand?)
• I am no cigar. I am my own worst enemy. I keep my friends close and my enemies closer. Close, but no cigar.

Just Plain Funny Word Play

• Geese bring me down.
• Best way to rid yourself of a Zombie infestation? Starve them. (But I guess that's a no-brainer).
• Last night, Micaela complained that with my leg resting on the ottoman I was blocking her view of the tv. What happened to a father's position of authority??? I really have to start putting my foot down.
• Hugh Grant, why the long face?
• Was going to buy myself a small skillet today, but I have bigger fish to fry.

Word Play Relating to Illness

• One of my ladies has pink eye so I'm avoiding making eye contact with her.
• Micaela's battling yet another cold, but she's keeping a stiff upper lip.
• You might think my sinus infection is kind of funny, but it's not.
• Left my jeans on the floor this morning. With Angie not feeling great, I really should be picking up the slack.