Thursday, March 5, 2015

A Letter to My Youngest Daughter: 6 Things to Remember When You're 6 (and older).

Dear M,

In just a few more days you're going to be 6.

That's a big number, but 5 was a big number too (Number 2! Funny!)

Years from now, you won't remember everything about being 5. I don't remember very much about when I was 5 and most people don't. That's because there is a ton of stuff that you're going to learn and experience when you're 6 and 7 and 8 and 9 and so on forever. And sadly, that means that what you know and believe and love at 5 might get forgotten and left behind .

So I'm going to write some of that stuff down now and you can always look back at it and remember being 5. I'll also slip in some advice because that's what Daddies do.

  1. You love to sing and dance. When you're at home with us you put on music and belt out tunes like you're on stage performing in front of thousands of people. You do the wildest dances with arms and legs flailing in all directions - with the music, against the music - doesn't matter. You do it in front of us with pride and confidence and a complete lack of embarrassment, and most importantly you insist that we do it too. You told me yesterday that you don't think you ever want to perform in front of other people (like being in a play, for example) because its too scary. You need to know that the people who do that stuff have nothing more or less than you do when it comes to performing, they just do it even though they're afraid. Don't be afraid - show the world your joy and get the world singing and dancing with you (like you did with us when you were 5).
  2. You are funny. You have the most sophisticated 5-year-old sense of humour I've ever seen, and I've seen some doozies. You love to laugh, but you don't give it away for free (unless it involves poo, pee or butts). You love to make people laugh and you're good at that. But people don't know you're funny until they spend some time with you and get to know you, because you also don't want to say anything bad in front of people you don't know. I like that in you. Getting to know you and earning your trust is like winning a prize. And the prize is the look in your eyes when something funny occurs to you and you're about to say it. Always be funny. Share your funny thoughts. Make jokes. There's too much sad stuff in the world and people need other people (like you) to lighten things up.
  3. You care deeply about other people's feelings. You are the most diplomatic person I know (at any age). You don't ever want to offend. You feel really sad when someone else is sad or angry. Even when you're just watching a show or a movie and someone is about to do something embarrassing, or when they're being picked on or teased, or when they're sad for any reason - you cover your eyes. That's amazing. I want you to always be that way. I also want you to sometimes push yourself to overcome that fear too. That's because you will have friends and family who sometimes need to hear what you really think, even if it hurts them. Because you're the way you are, people will value your honest opinion about things. They'll stop asking for that if you don't tell them the truth, even when it hurts.
  4. You love to create things. Drawings. Paintings. Crafts. Games. Like your dancing and singing, you don't hold back when you do these things. Your imagination is astounding. Most people are that way at 5, and then the world tries really hard to get them to stop being that way. That's because people think they know how things are and should be. New ideas and new things threaten people and the way they understand how things work. They also think that the most important thing is making money, and it's not easy to create something new and make money from it. Artists have a hard time making money. So do writers. So do people who start new businesses for that matter. But don't let that stop you from being creative. Don't listen to people. Life isn't just about money. You are here to create.
  5. You love to read. This is something you're just learning and - thank God - you're good at it and you like it. When you look at a chapter book, I think you see an adventure waiting to happen. When you look at a book that's about dinosaurs, or the human body, or space, or..., I think you also see an adventure waiting to happen. Reading is an adventure. Learning is an adventure. When you're in school, it may sometimes become a chore. That's because schools teach a lot of things the wrong way. They teach history by making you memorize names and dates instead of telling you stories. They teach spelling by making you memorize words instead of making you read. They even teach you about books (literature) by breaking them up into tiny pieces that you HAVE to read by tomorrow morning and then asking you questions that take all the fun out. Reading is fun. Learning is fun. You know that at 5. Don't forget that.
  6. You love your body. I don't think I've ever seen anyone love their own body like you love your body. You love prancing around naked. You love waving your bum in the air. You love dressing up in clothes whether they fit properly or not. You love dressing up in costumes and you don't worry about what people think. That's probably going to be the hardest thing for you to hold onto after you're done being 5. I don't know why, but there will come a time when you don't like your body anymore. The girls and women who they put in movies and on television shows will make you feel like maybe your body isn't what it should be. Somebody will tease you about something about your body, and then you'll worry that they're right. People will put you down so they can feel better about themselves. These words will seem hollow when you're older, but I'll say them nonetheless: You are perfect and that will never change. You know that right now, and that's all that's going to change - knowing it. Daddy will always tell you that and he won't be lying. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself and ignore everyone else (except your Doctor, whose job it is to tell you how you can be perfect AND healthy).
I will miss my 5 year old when she becomes 6 in a few days, but I will love you at 6 too. And 7. And forever. See you then.

Love,

Daddy.

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